Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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