We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
