I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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