walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
