That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
