dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need a hoe opinion
go on
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize