I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
