I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
