Jerry, you need to find god
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
