420 ftw
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
