I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
