dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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