Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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