We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Pooping to opera.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
