I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
