i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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