HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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