if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
