Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
