If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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