that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize