I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
