I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
