So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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