she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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