i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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