i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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