I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
