I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
