Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
