All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We are two peas in an std pod
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
