It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
