Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
