Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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