so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
