If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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