There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
