Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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