The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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