How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
