We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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