Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize