question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
