You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
