Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
