she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
