my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize