All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
