I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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