I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
