Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
