Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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