Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
