Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we're making bets on your personal life
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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