i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
