Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
