Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
