I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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